My heart is in my throat and I feel like another intake of air is going to kill me right away. I feel numb from this intensity of emotions. I feel warmer than the desert sun and colder than a frost bite. Her arms around me feel like bounds, pulling me back into the pits of my memories that have scarred me for life. But her arms also make me feel like Im the luckiest person to have her love me, I feel cherished and protected.
As she nuzzles into my neck, a wave of gut shattering nausea hits me and I will throw up for sure, the simple act of love is disgusting to me, I feel violated and stained. But before Im overwhelmed by disgust, I feel the sincerity in the simple action of love and am fuzzy all over . I want her to go further than just brushing her nose along my neck and maybe leave a bruise or two for me to remember. Could I really stomach that?
“How you been love?”, she coaxes into my ear and I swallow dryly. Im on edge and nervous but in a good way, I dont feel negatively towards these words of endearment. “I’m Gucci as always, and you?”, I mock her and I know she felt the smirk in my voice even though she cant see me. I turn around in her arms, cringing at the closer contact with skin but also feeling relieved as I am engulfed in even more warmth.
We stare into each other’s eyes for what seems like an eternity but couldn’t be longer than five seconds, her piercing eyes were now contently admiring my once composed gaze, that was now frantic and bloodshot. “You’ve changed”, we both blurted out and thats when her eyes explore my face and her eyebrows rise in surprise when she sees the piercings lining my face and ears. To her contrast, I remain fixated on her eyes and allow myself to drown in their calmness. “Stop looking at me like that love, everyone’s staring”, she says in hushed tones and blushes and looks between us. Like the dog I am, I bend down and smirk as I brush my nose along hers in a slow and elaborate eskimo kiss. She gasps in surprise and returns the kiss as she giggles and pulls me closer. “Good God can you be discreet for once?”, she taunts as she pokes my chest. “Nope”, I wink and drag her to meet my wife.